Friday, January 21, 2011

Hence the Name

If there's a living proof of how single hood can lead to unhappiness in life, it would be me. Well, I could be happy at times but then again I could change my mood in a split second. Its like I'm in a constant PMS or something. Well it gotta be that or otherwise I'm somewhere near reaching menopause? Huh, who knows.

Anyhow, having sarcasm as my last name I was beyond humored when I read Maria Elena's entry about a survey which requires you to respond sarcastically. Whoever create this survey is a true genius!

So here we go....
(YR stand for Your Response)

If an annoying person says :

1) I am cute.
YR : does cute mean a face that would make someone puke on the first look?

2) I am the most beautiful/handsome.
YR : of course, you just won Miss Donkey Universe

3) See, everyone loves me because I am rich and famous.
YR : I'd rather be blind than seeing that

4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thing.
YR : Unlike you, I have eyes. I can see everything well from your ugly face to your fat ass.

5) You don't know me? I am Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR : Really? like photo albums?

If an annoying hot woman/man says :

1) I know you like me.
YR : Sure, if you're dead

2) What are u looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR : Sorry, I was looking for you brain. Silly me! You don't have one.

3) Sorry, you're nice but seriously not my type.
YR : OMG, you think I'm nice, I'm so flattered but I don't have anything nice to say about you though.

4) UNLESS you are rich, then don't dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR : unless you are dying then don't dream I will give you a ride

5) Look, I am pretty/ handsome; I can make people hate you!
YR : Look, I am a human, I don't care

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says :

1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR : a good couple as a laughing stock

2) May I have your cell phone number? please please please?
YR : sorry, I'm not yellow pages

3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night.
YR : Hi, wanna get out? I want you to be out of my life forever.

4) What do you like about me?
YR : I would like it if you don't like me

5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me soooooooo much!
YR : I want to say that I am pretty and I like me sooooooo much! :')

If your enemy says :

1) Hi bitch!
YR : Honey, you got my name mixed up again...that's your name silly!

2) You smell like shit!
YR : its still better than you

3) What an ugly creature you are!
YR : thank you, sorry you can't be one

4) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure.
YR : you can try that if you enter the race

If your annoying ex says :

1) I still love you...
YR : you've loved me before?

2) I know you still love me!
YR : I've loved you before? OMG!

3) Please, come back with me honey/hubby...
YR : I was with you? OMG! What was I thinking?

4) Please call me...
YR : call you what? jerk? douche bag? gay? I think I already did...

5) The break up hurt me so much...
YR : Was it the slap or the kick or the punch?

If an annoying salesperson says :

1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR : I know

2) Seriously, I used this product and I've changed!
YR : to what?

3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR : great, so you can pay for the other 50%

4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam. Buy...
YR : can I just give you donation instead?

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